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The first day of the new year. The first day of a new decade. I went out for drinks last night with PC Marks. We weren't on duty. I've had the last three days off from the yard and I was told to take the night off at the Ministry. The thing is though, regardless of whether or not you're on duty, you can't help doing your part to uphold justice.
It started with a man who had a few too many. He saw a woman he was attracted to and he tried to strike up a conversation with her. She wasn't there alone. Her friend was in the bathroom and when he came out, he stepped in. Bruised ego led the drunk man to start in on the woman about her weight and skin color. Just remarks full of unnecessary hatred. Her defender threw the first punch and all three of them were kicked from the pub, but it started a fight in the street. The drunk pulled out a gun and shot at the other man, missed him. Marks got the gun. The man was taken in and the couple went home, visibly shaken but unharmed. It doesn't always end so optimistically.
Last year, Amoria and I spent the New Year at the beach in Blackpool. We'd just gotten back from our honeymoon about a month earlier. We were just coming down off that and the celebration at her parents house for Christmas. We took the time off we needed to enjoy the end of the year together. We made our plans that night for the year. I was going to see if I could take a loan out to get us a house. We moved into her flat six month previous, but the place was small. We wanted our own starter home. We discussed the possibility of maybe trying for a baby towards the end of the year. Or, maybe at the beginning of this year. We were going to use the months in the mean time to save up some money so she could take leave from work when the time came. Slightly tipsy from the champagne we discussed names, then delved further into what life was going to be like over the years.
Someday, we said, the world wouldn't be like it is now. There would be no Death Eaters. He Who Must Not Be Named wouldn't be around because somehow the Ministry would bring him down. Evil never lasts. No dictator set out to do the world harm has ever remained in power for long and wars, despite their length, eventually all come to an end. It would be safe for us, eventually. And we thought of all of the places we wanted to go when it was.
A year ago, my life was filled with dreams and hope. Genuinely happy and full of love, we were going to make nineteen seventy-nine a good start to our marriage and I felt like we were going to make it. Anything we put our minds to was going to succeed because we had each other and that New Years was significant because it was the first of many to come in our marriage. Nothing in me held any sort of doubt. I never would have predicted being where I am a year later because the thought of it was unfathomable.
I wanted to work today. Anything to keep my mind off it. But, I worked through Christmas and they told me to go home.
I'm sitting at my Uncle's. My aunt made me a cup of tea and I've smoked through a half a pack of fags. I'm fighting off this hang over and debating whether or not I should just get back to bed but I don't think it'll resolve anything. Can't sleep anymore. This year, my plans and resolutions have changed. I want to do something. More than I have been. I want to bring some sort of justice to what happened to Amoria. Been saying that since it happened, but since this is the time of year where we set plans, I really need to decide how I'm going to do that.
I still have mixed feelings on Crouch's decision to allow the use of the Unforgivables. That was what took her. I'll never forget the blank expression in her face that was the symbol of restless peace after the torment she'd been put through before it. No one should ever have to experience those curses, but at the same time, I want each and every one of his followers to feel them. I want them to know exactly how she felt. In one way or another, I will avenge her and it's going to be this year. Nineteen Eighty, I'm going to keep a tally and I'm going to leave a mark. I can't rest until she does.
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